12 Years...

 This year is challenging, so hard to describe. I didn't think I knew why, but I realized it quickly when I sat down to think about it. This was my first year without having Garrett home to celebrate Zachary's memory day. We usually spend time together at Disney, where Zach was his happiest and where the boys and I have fond memories of Zachary. Instead, we went away, Dom, Adam, and I, while Garrett stayed in Alabama. I'm not sure what else to say except, that my grieving heart is beyond heavy this year. 

I have my office full of sunflowers and close friends wearing red. This never gets easier, but time keeps on moving and we all have learned to cope. My heart has a hole in it forever and I've realized that sometimes I need to give myself permission to grieve, be sad, and just feel the real feelings today.

I love you Zach and you will always be my youngest son with the sparkle in his eyes and the redest hair.

Love you,

Mom